This post is a op-ed rant which isn't what I'm used to seeing at Engadget.

I agree with most of what the OP says. I'm both very eager and very skeptical to try this out. Why do cell phones do several things way better than laptops: faster wake-from-sleep response times, less intrusive OS, and a better ecosystem for certain types of games.

One of these websites needs to do a clear numeric battery life rating that actually maps to real life and includes idle use times as well as talk times.

Palm Pre is absolutely amazing in terms of elegant software and functionality and has a perfect form factor. The worst part is the battery life. Even without making phone calls, the phone will go through a full charge in 10 hours of just being on.

I'd rather use a dumbphone for basic phone/SMS that can last for a week on a single charge. Yet both my dumbphone and the Palm Pre have "specs" of "5 hour talk time".

A good "dumbphone" will last days without needing a recharge, can tolerant frequent drops and rough treatment, can comfortably fit in pants pockets, and doesn't require a premium service plan...

The Droid and iPhone look better on other carriers, but I'm locked on a Sprint family plan at the moment and I'm long overdue for an upgrade. Which is the best handset on Sprint: Pre, Moment, or something else in the next two months?

If I could switch carriers: Droid in an instant...

I just signed for two more years on Sprint (didn't get a new handset though, they just gave me a bonus for extending the contract). The Moment looks good, but will it get Eclair (OS 2.0)? Buying the brand new handset and being permanently stuck with 1.5 would kind of suck. I don't see why that handset got a poor review (I read the review and still don't see what's wrong aside from OS 1.5)...

Wow... I'll keep my Palm Pre for now, but this is the first Android device that actually looks good.

Interesting news bit and hilarious posting title. Engadget is the best at this breed of humor.

Personally, I'm planning on buying a 5.1 speaker setup. I don't want 7.1, that's just too many speakers in my living room. However, how much better is the HDMI audio for PS3 games and blu-ray movies vs older optical (tos-link) audio systems?

Also, is it worth waiting for or considering 3D for a new TV? How soon are reasonably priced 3D capable sets going to be available?

iPod Touch: Nicer Hardware, browser, GPS, non-gaming apps.
iPhone: Above + full convergence device.

PSP: Way better game library.

LOL! Game of the show... The humor here doesn't disappoint.