Andy (to John Kelly): "When's the last time you tried to grow tits?"

Re: "Alan Sepinwall is reviewing episodes of Cupid."

All of the episodes are available on YouTube (he'll show you where). He's reviewing them in order, and your comments are welcome.

It's a trademark of David Kelley shows that the most annoying and/or "outlandish" guest characters will be brought back again and again.

And it's a trademark of this show that whatever side Alan is arguing for, no matter how ridiculous, will win -- unless the deck is stacked in the other side's favor, as in this case when Jerry lectured Katie on how to beat Alan in court.

People used to choose Hydrox because they didn't contain lard, while Oreos did. But Oreos dropped pig fat from its ingredients (though there's still plenty of not-so-healthy stuff in them), so there was no longer that much of a difference.

The two main elements this show's plots depend on are Alison's idiocy -- it takes her longer to figure out her own dreams than it would an average chimp -- and the fact that the DuBois family trips along from bad news to worse news without ever figuring out that maybe the universe IS against them.

Really, she doesn't know? Okay.... When a man and woman love each other very much, he puts his thingy in her thingy. And THAT'S how babies are born.

The judges clearly got the message that they need to be nicer, or at least less mean, this year. Which I appreciated. I don't really care for the hard-luck sob-story introductions, but I was touched by how well they treated Temptress Brown. And the only one they laughed at was James Lewis, who was genuinely hilarious. (And who didn't seem to mind, anyway.)

They've also clearly paved the way for a lot of people who are already professional singers to come on the show. I guess it's within the letter of the rules, but it still seems to take away from the idea that they're discovering someone completely new.

Brooke White is pretty and charming, but I actually thought her voice was a little weak. I would have liked to hear her sing something more difficult than a Corrine Bailey Rae song. And they should have had Beth Stalker sing something more modern, since it was hard to tell if she could handle modern rock or pop music.

Freaky Paul Marturano was actually not a bad singer, and his stalker song was kind of funny. Even though it was creepy that he sang it directly to Paula, she actually seemed to kind of like it. (Anything for attention....)

As usual, there were lots of people who made the cut but who we didn't get to hear. Still, it was a pretty auspicious beginning to a season that will probably be the highest-rated ever, considering that virtually the only competition is "Frasier" reruns on cable.

I agree that the idea of a ridiculously age-inappropriate person disguising himself as a high-school student and becoming the coolest kid in class is funny. Almost as funny as when it was done years ago on, um, "Family Guy."

It's no coincidence that the most successful former "Idol," Kelly Clarkson, has largely distanced herself from the show (or that Carrie Underwood performs does a country act that isn't really connected to "Idol"). While "Idol" gives performers a huge start to their careers that they probably couldn't get any other way, all the other influence it has on their careers afterwards (the sappy ballads, the lousy albums, the dopey tour, etc.) makes them seem like cheesy has-beens from the moment the show is over.

This show always fudges around the question of whether the cops actually believe Shawn uses psychic powers to solve cases. You'd think the revelation that he got a perfect score on the detective's exam at age 15 would lead them to realize he's just great at police work, and to tell him to stop with the mumbo-jumbo once and for all.