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First, believe it or not, the primary job function of flight attendants is the safety of the passengers and enforcing FAA regulations. However, the job of accommodating passengers is by no means a “bonus”; it is a traditionally offered service that passengers pay for (more on what we pay for these days below). The practice of offering food, drinks, etc goes back to the days before deregulation when flying was more of a prestige form of travel for the wealthy and business people. However, as deregulation has created price competition and flying has become more egalitarian, service has steadily eroded.
The culprit is the need (especially by the old, large dinosaur airlines) to cut costs in the face of price competition and fluctuations in the price of fuel. Prior to deregulation airlines used to fly inefficient routes on inefficient airplanes. The hub and spoke concept really took off after deregulation and brought a lot of logistical efficiency to the industry, but there was a lot of oversupply of airlines and aircraft which incredibly continued until recently; load factors were routinely in the 65-75% range.
The new low barriers to entry meant that a lot of budget airlines could start up, intensifying the price war. The dinosaurs had to price match, but were flying inefficient planes and had higher operating costs, causing them to lose money and in some cases forcing them into bankruptcy. There was a catch-22 that airlines that then invested heavily in new plans had high debt loads or lease costs that they had to recoup, but which pricing pressure made difficult to achieve.
One item of revenue generation contributing to a crappy flying experience is the continual shrinking of seat and cabin space. That allowed greater revenue on those routes with traditionally high load factors and during peak travel periods. (An argument can also be made that less space is a tradeoff for energy efficiency.) However, even with the shrinking seat space planes were for the most part running at mediocre load factors until recently, when supply has been curtailed. I personally believe that included in a passenger bill of rights should be a regulation for minimum seat space and leg room.
When airlines couldn't get revenue on the pricing side they had to turn to cutting costs, which meant cutting services. In some cases it is a good thing that makes the airline more efficient. For example, in the old days they used to give out free decks of playing cards and other amenities. Getting rid of these items such as these that were used by few people was a good thing. They were eventually cutting services that pretty much everyone wanted, though, which is another cause of the great air travel suckage.
Even with cutting services near to the bone they were losing money, so that's where the nickel-and-diming began, which creates another factor of air travel suckage. The baggage charge encourages more carry-on luggage in smaller cabins, creating yet another factor of air travel suckage. Oversupply has been curtailed, leading to high load factors and more full flights in these cramped aircraft configurations, creating yet another factor of air travel suckage.
Airlines hire PhD's and literal rocket scientists to manage their sophisticated pricing systems, which among other things use algorithms to raise prices as flights book up. In playing chicken with each other, though, they've lowered prices so that they pretty much just cover the bare minimum of a seat, a can of soda, and part of an overhead bin. Everything else is a nickel-and-dime, but the impressive revenues generated indicate that most people want those services. So why not just raise the price of a ticket and included the services most people want? I'm sure analysis has been done to answer that question.
Therefore, by the time I sit down in my seat I have the following items that I know are going to happen or have a good probability of happening that piss me off:
1. I will be nickel-and dimed with ridiculous charges.
2. I have to bring my own food onto the plane or pay extra for what used to be free.
3. I will have to shuffle shoeless through the security line and deal with TSA agents who may or may not be dicks to me..
4. There's a good chance the flight will be delayed.
5. There's a decent chance I'll be sitting on the tarmac for a while past the original ETD and that the flight will be late arriving.
6. There's a good chance the entrance to the gate will be a zoo, and with my priority 2 boarding pass I'll have to run the gauntlet of priority 3 and 4 people blocking the entrance because gate agents are too clueless to take charge of the chaos.
7. I will have to stand for a long time in the aisle waiting to get to my seat because of some clueless cheap dick that is trying to roll a too-large suitcase down the aisle, or the person who can't lift what they brought and needs someone to rescue them, or the person who dicks around with their coat/jacket instead of just sitting their ass down and dealing with it later when carry-on bags have been stowed. To the previous commenter that complained about being rushed to get seated, I mean you, you inconsiderate asshole.
8. There's a chance I will be seated next to a large or fat person that will spill over into my seat.
9. There's a chance that the person in front of me will be an inconsiderate asshole that will actually recline their seat.
10, I will be uncomfortable in a space not large enough for my average adult male frame (5' 9”, 165 lbs.).
11. A lot of people will be yakking on cell phones before takeoff and after landing, some of which will be speaking too loud.
12. If I'm in the aisle there's a chance that the flight attendant or a passenger will lean over to talk to someone across the aisle and their ass will come inches from my face. Only once in a blue moon is this a good thing.
13. I will be annoyed by the smug looks by people in first class, most of which are only there because they are high-mileage frequent fliers and not because they actually paid for it. I pity anyone whose job makes them travel enough to earn that distinction.
14. I will look around at the cramped plane, the good number of people that dress like crap, smell the funky food smells, and I will feel like I'm a piece of cattle in a flying Greyhound bus.
Therefore, by the time I get on the plane I am already pissed off and anxious. I'm put in this state by the way the airlines are run, and a extra-leg space seat or emergency exit does little to assuage my condition.
This is the mindset of most passengers, which flight attendants have to deal with off the bat. Airline management has placed them, the front line employee that is the face of the company, in a difficult situation off the bat. Unfortunately, things aren't likely to get any better. There's still incredible demand for cheap air travel, especially in a recession. Passengers have grudgingly accepted the nickel-and-dime pricing methodology. Airlines that are public companies have a fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders to maximize profits, which is interpreted as continuing the current pricing methodology and cramped cabin configurations.
As in all things, there are good and bad passengers and flight attendants. I try to cut them some slack because they have a tough job in an industry that has always been volatile. If one has the impression that their service duties are some sort of privilege for us paying passengers or that they are someone deserving of perks like chocolate from passengers, then I think they're deluded and in the wrong business.