Bad Critic checklist:

Brief synopsis of the film... check.
Abrasive, hyperbolic, and repetitive language... check.
References to his own previous writings... check.
Slobs v. Snobs intellectual class warfare... check.
Substantive criticism of the film... [not found]

Dude barely gives a single reason why he considers it bad. Twice as much ink was spilled making fun of the lead kid's name.

Even better would have been King interviewing Cronenberg.

I preferred Kubrick's film to the original novel by leaps and bounds, so I probably wouldn't read it anyway.

Help the economy by checking out videoupdates.net. I don't know how that helps, but it might.

Hmmm. A lightbulb + speaker combination smacks of the inconvenience brought about by the old DVD + VCR combo: one function breaks, and you're left with half a gadget.

Sweeeeet.

= Messy Living Room + Awesome

Have fun with the algebra.

Better them than me.

Die Harder.... er... Gears Harder.... War Gearser? I give up.

Lightsaber bayonet.

Pumpkins